Lost in Beirut

Lebanese Hospitality

Fri, 24 May 2013 10:28:00 +0300

Lebanese (well, Arabs in general) are famed for their hospitality. And while all ex-pats like to rave about the treatment they receive at someone’s house, it’s equally important to show at least a level of that hospitality back when any Lebanese come to visit your house/office/etc. Here are some observations that I’ve noticed, though admittedly my experiences are mostly limited to Southern Lebanese.

First thing’s first, when someone walks into a room you should always stand up and (if appropriate) shake their hand. I realize this might go without saying, but it’s a huge matter of manners—even if you know the person well. If you feel comfortable enough, then go ahead in with the typical cheek kissing-two is standard, but three if you really like the person. On the offhand chance you happen to be meeting any religious clerics or very religious individuals, be smart about the hand shaking as some individuals do not shake hands with the opposite sex. If you are a female and the man opposite you is wearing a turban, place your hand on your heart and say hello. Sometimes you might also run into individuals—male or female—who happen to be fairly conservative. I like to test whether or not the hand shaking is go but not directly sticking my hand straight out, but lifting it up so that I could either be going for my heart or an outstretched hand and see their response.

After the hand shaking and hellos, whether you’re at the office or home, immediately ask what they’d like to drink. Water, coffee, and tea are standard. If it’s early in the morning, through the Nescafe option out too (Lebanese as a society love Nescafe). If it’s summertime and warm, juice is also a good option. Along with the drinks you should serve some sort of snacks/food. In my experiences, the Lebanese looove to try and force food on you and the people that come to my house seem to enjoy that while I give them food, I don’t force them to eat it (though they could be lying to me). Most of the time setting out nuts or cookies is good. In the evenings it’s very popular to serve fruit—throughout the winter it was customary to be given a plate of at least apples and bananas. Mind you, the hostess typically skins the apple and slices it, and opens the banana before they present it to you. Now that we’re getting into summer I’m fond of having these little yellow beans called thermos around. You can buy them at the grocery store dry, they just need to be soaked in water for two days and on the second day boiled. Serve them soaking in a little water with salt. Watermelon is also everywhere in the summer.

Another thing to bear in mind is that the women will likely get up and start trying to help you in the kitchen with the tea. If it’s their first time over, I don’t advise letting them help, just as if it’s your first time at someone’s house you should spend the time sitting and chatting with your hosts. But, after you get to know them more, it’s also considered appropriate to at least try to help bring out the teas, etc. Whatever you do, do not let anyone do the dishes or try to do their dishes. I’ve found that it’s considered to be “ayeb,” or shameful except under very specific circumstances—my fiance’s grandmother does not have the use of one of her hands, for instance. Still, she only accepts my help because I’m “family” and wouldn’t want just anyone washing her dirty plates.

Depending on the crowd you’re dealing with, either drinks or argileh (“hookah”) is necessary. I happen to be dealing with the argileh crowd, which is excellent since argileh delivery places are everywhere. There is conveniently one across the street from my house that, for I believe 5,000LL which is just over $3, delivers everything you need within a matter of seconds— the argileh, packed with whatever fruit flavored tobacco the individual chooses (apple seems to be the default), their coals, and all the accessories. It’s also easy on clean-up since all you have to do is stick it outside your front door when you’re done and they pick it up tomorrow.

The thing to bear in mind, however, is that hospitality doesn’t just end at the home or office. If you happen to be munching down on a bag of popcorn in a car of Lebanese, you should always offer them some. More than likely they’re not going to steal your bag of popcorn, but they appreciate the fact that you at least gave them the option. At least throw out a “tfadalo, tfadalo” to the group to which you’ll probably just get a “sahteyn,” or bon appetite!

I guess the moral of all this is that Lebanese appreciate it when you offer. Offer drinks, offer food, offer argileh, offer whatever food scraps you have left in the kitchen when people randomly pop up at your front door unexpectedly, just offer something.

My Apartment is Cursed

Wed, 22 May 2013 10:34:18 +0300

My apartment is cursed. Anything that can, has or probably will go wrong. No one had lived in the place for at least a year when we moved in, so of course there would be a few things we would have to get in order to get the place working.

First up, the water heater. To this day I’m not 100% sure what the actual story was, but apparently the previous residents removed/broke some part of the water heater so that it wouldn’t work. That took a few days to handle, but then all was fine with the world.

Then, the pipe under our kitchen sink broke and flooded the cabinet- a fairly easy fix.

Then my fiance strong armed the faucet in the shower and broke it. Water only comes out of the shower head now.

I live outside the Beirut municipality where a generator is a must. Fiance and his electrician friend installed a switch in the house to flip back and forth between the two electricity sources. One of those wires burned out at some point and had to be replaced (maybe that was just a shoddy install job on their part).

Cut to the issues of our water pump. We have water tanks on the ground that receive the water from the municipality, which then has to be pumped to tanks on the roof. The wire (which was also installed by people we paid when we moved in) burnt out a few weeks ago and had to be replaced. The second that gets replaced the actual pump for the water breaks and has to be replaced.

The toilet seat randomly broke.

And now, remember the electricity-generator switch in the house? There is a main one downstairs near the building’s circuit breaker. That thing burnt out this morning and had to be fixed.

Literally, what is next- we are running out of options of things to break.

Map of American English dialects

Fri, 10 May 2013 10:37:08 +0300

Map of American English dialects:

No big surprise that I come from an area with a “General American” dialect.

Hats off (But Dress On) to our Kurdish Feminist Brothers

Thu, 09 May 2013 10:16:48 +0300

Hats off (But Dress On) to our Kurdish Feminist Brothers

Lebanon's Energy Minister becomes Comic Book Hero

Tue, 07 May 2013 13:57:05 +0300

Lebanon's Energy Minister becomes Comic Book Hero:

ONLY in Lebanon

In more of my domesticated adventures: my first homemade Kibbeh....

Thu, 02 May 2013 12:52:03 +0300

In more of my domesticated adventures: my first homemade Kibbeh. It was sort of like learning to drive a stick-shift- I only got worse as time went on. Those little suckers take some practice to stuff and roll into the perfect shape.

32 lessons from a Saudi prince's instagram

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 10:05:52 +0300

32 lessons from a Saudi prince's instagram:

Selfies, selfies, selfies…

Photos of man deported from Saudi Arabia for being too sexy

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 09:18:29 +0300

Photos of man deported from Saudi Arabia for being too sexy:

Just because.

alieninbeirut: I am a few days behind on this particular news...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 13:31:14 +0300

alieninbeirut:

I am a few days behind on this particular news but it was a busy last few days.

I read about this Lebanese woman on Friday April 19th. She was on a MEA on the 17th of April and lit up a cigarette and defiantly refused to put it out when the airline attendants demanded so. The flight attendant then says she is going to get the captain and the woman responds by shouting “Go call him. Go call everyone and come here”. This video has since gone viral.

All MEA flights prohibit smoking and she was arrested upon landing.

Many Lebanese are said to feel shamed by this video. I am sorry to sound too harsh but any fool getting on a plane knows they cannot smoke. The fact is, she didn’t care for the rules or that her actions were disrespectful for the other people on the plane.

Perhaps Lebanese are ashamed of this incident and would like to isolate it as a once off or pin on the individual rather than realising the societal rule-breaking attitude this woman obviously thinks is excusable to do, is in fact a very common trait in many Lebanese. Take those Lebanese who love to boast about flaunting the non-smoking rule in their own country or breaking every possible traffic law that exists. This attitude is everywhere in Lebanon.

I witness this kind of behaviour on a regular basis. It is not just about smoking either. It can be broken down to the smallest things in life, like all the queue skipping which the Lebanese are notorious for doing. Get some common courtesy manners for crying out loud.

This video also reminds me of when we were flying to Oman. We reserved our seats when we first booked, so basically 6-7 weeks before the flight and we specifically reserved window seats. When we arrived on the plane there was a big woman sitting in my seat and when I told her she needed to move because she was in my seat she waved me away. The flight attendants came over and also told her she has to move because her seat was the aisle seat. She shrugged her shoulders and looked out the window. What can you do in this situation but I was livid, this casual display of self-centered approach is typical of everyday Lebanese behaviour.

It starts with something small and the attitude escalates.

Arabic Coffee

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 09:46:00 +0300

Arabic Coffee:

“By 1414, it was known in Mecca and in the early 1500s was spreading to Egypt from the Yemeni port of Mocha. It was still associated with Sufis, and a cluster of coffee houses grew up in Cairo around the religious university of the Azhar. They also opened in Syria, especially in the cosmopolitan city of Aleppo, and then in Istanbul, the capital of the vast Ottoman Turkish Empire, in 1554.”

So, Arabs invented the coffeehouse. I love coffeehouses and the Middle East. So much yes.

usatodaysports: Examples of overwhelming kindness following the...

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 13:47:44 +0300

https://twitter.com/RedCross/statuses/323901009795629056

https://twitter.com/billy_baker/statuses/323940448513163265

https://twitter.com/rm/statuses/323906359005429760

https://twitter.com/ElPelonTaqueria/statuses/323920515184078848

https://twitter.com/NBCSN/statuses/323902959257808896

usatodaysports:

Examples of overwhelming kindness following the Boston Marathon explosions.

Florida Battles Giant African Snails

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 16:34:12 +0300

Florida Battles Giant African Snails:

“In some Caribbean countries, such as Barbados, which are overrun with the creatures, the snails’ shells blow out tires on the highway and turn into hurling projectiles from lawnmower blades, while their slime and excrement coat walls and pavement.”

Well that certainly sounds fun….

World Food Programme Quiz on Syria

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 11:32:48 +0300

World Food Programme Quiz on Syria:

The quiz will (allegedly) help provide funding for food to Syrian families in need. It takes about 2 minutes (perhaps 5 if you’re on Lebanese internet).

OMG Electricity

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 16:32:08 +0300

I’m not completely sure whether I should thank Turkey for the recent improvements to the Zouk Power Plant, or whether the government is just generally celebrating the resignation of Mikati, but we have been getting crazy electricity at home. I live just outside the Beirut power grid so instead of only going without electricity for 3 hours a day, I live on a weird cycle that either provides 16 hours of electricity a day or a meager 8 hours of electricity a day. Luckily we have a generator so the only real issues are when it comes to heating water and drying your hair (I’m not looking forward to the summer a/c months… I’m thinking about putting a kiddy pool in the living room as a cooling oasis). But over the past week we’ve been enjoying more than 20 hours of electricity! I’m not holding my breathe as I know in a few months time we’ll be back to major power outages thanks to summer heat and the large increase in vacationers, but these last few days have been a happy surprise.

Not so neighborly

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 10:42:22 +0200

I have determined that there are two things that can, in any neighborhood in Beirut that will stir up a neighborhood rumble: parking pots and laundry lines.

Parking in any neighborhood in Beirut generally sucks. If you aren’t lucky enough to have a parking space assigned to your particularly apartment you’re basically left driving up and down the streets stalking anything that you can possibly making into a parking space, be it the side walk or an alley. Double parking is also always an option as long as you leave a note or business card with your phone number on it so that the person you block in can reach you. Not leaving your number immediately constitutes craziness as the person then has to search every shop/ apartment building nearby to find you. My significant other tends to block in one particular car, but the guy knows us now and seems to be somewhat okay with it since we move the car quickly… or he’s dreaming murderous thoughts all the time…

Things get particularly heated when certain individuals begin claiming public spaces as their own personal spot. Parking spots immediately outside businesses, ok I get that they’re for customers, but one of my neighbors decided to spray paint the side of the building with some novel of a warning about “private parking.” Sir (or Madam) if that was ACTUALLY your parking space, which you pay for in rent, then you would have one of the nice covered spots in the back with a little plaque on it. It sorts of seems like the attitude “finders, keepers” or “I’ve been here longer.”

In regards to laundry, I have been on both sides of this situation. If you’re on a high floor, you can’t possibly do ANYTHING off the side of your balcony without drawing the ire of your downstairs neighbors. It’s impossible to shake out a rug without having the debris fly down on someone’s laundry and, if you’re on a tall building, there is ALWAYS laundry hanging out somewhere. I have had my fair share of hearing “MADAM!!!!” screamed up at me for everything (and mind you I very much tried NOT to ruin people’s clean laundry). One neighbor would go insane if my laundry even dropped a few bits of water on her clothes and then later made fun of me in Arabic to her housemaid in the elevator not realizing I spoke Arabic. Now that I’m on the first floor, however, I get how irritating it is when people ruin your freshly laundered clothes. The housemaid on the floor above me decided to wash the windows yesterday and dropped ALL the soapy water onto my clean sheets. In her case, I can’t help but feel a bit pissed since it’s only me below and she certainly could have waited a half day until I pulled my clothes off the line. I guess I’ll just keep pulling the giant sun curtain over my clothes to protect them from now on…

Bank Robbery in Jnah

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 14:31:39 +0200

Bank Robbery in Jnah:

My boss just showed me a rather hilarious video of the recent bank robbery in Jnah. I really love how no one in this video seems even slightly ruffled by the man with the pump action rifle. Possibly the most casual robbery ever.

A seriously depressing article about Syrian refugees turning to prostitution

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 16:51:58 +0200

A seriously depressing article about Syrian refugees turning to prostitution:

The last story is the worst:

“Among the casualties is an 18-year-old native of Homs, Syria, who arrived in Zaatari camp last summer. Soon after, her father married her for $1,000 to a 22-year-old Jordanian man who frequently visited the camp. The husband then handed her over to a brothel in Irbid, where she is among 20 women pimped out by a man who calls himself Faroun, Arabic for Pharaoh.

Her parents went back to Syria in January, leaving her alone in Jordan.

“Now I have nobody to turn to,” says the tiny, soft-spoken young woman, no more than a girl, who looks away without answering when asked about prostitution. The AP does not name victims of sexual abuse.

Her husband, who identifies himself as Ali, acknowledges cheerfully that he forces her to have sex with him and with others, for money.

“I’ve got nothing to lose,” he says, smiling. “I will eventually divorce her and she’ll end up going home.””

Lebanon in a Nutshell

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 15:08:36 +0200

Me: “NO! The internet just cut out!”

R: “No, the motor (generator) just went out because the electricity is back.” (it was only an hour late)

Me: “Oh! Oh good.”

…. 3 minutes later, the internet cuts out.

This was posted to the ‘Second Hand Beirut’ page,...

Fri, 08 Mar 2013 12:54:00 +0200

This was posted to the ‘Second Hand Beirut’ page, where people sell used items (typically furniture and appliances).

I would say “only in Lebanon,” but there are places in America where you can buy a gun out of the back of a car… so…

Ok, ignore the fact that I’m obviously looking to go to...

Thu, 07 Mar 2013 10:55:03 +0200

Ok, ignore the fact that I’m obviously looking to go to the Qadisha Valley this weekend and look at the advertisement circled in red. It says “Is your neighbor wanted? Look at these photos of Hezbollah. Do you know any of them?” Granted, there is a misspelling so it actually says “Jezbollah” (maybe on purpose), but what in the hell?